Next up in our series of completely legit and totally exclusive interviews with Republican gubernatorial candidates: Ethal Maharg. She’s polling somewhere in the low “others” and has raised about one half of one percent of the total fundraising haul.
Maharg is the Marianne Williamson of the 2022 New Mexico gubernatorial primary, bringing up issues of morality and character when the bleating bimbos of the political paparazzi wage rhetorical war on guns and inflation. But it’s the divisive and sensational that draws crowds, not the finger-pointing church lectures on sin, which helps explain why the Maharg Movement hasn’t taken off.
Her debate performance showed voters she abhors abortion, speaks fancy Spanish, and thinks New Mexico’s moral compass needs repair, but her one-issue campaign platform and failure to garner much support has left many wondering: Why is she still here?
So we asked, because asking the hard questions is what we do, and we don’t care if it’s kind of rude.
Without further ado, we bring you Ethal Maharg.
ConservativeNM: “Lot of folks wondering, why are you still here?”
Maharg: “I believe God wanted me to get into this race, to talk about the genocide of children that is happening every day in our state.”
ConservativeNM: “How do you know He wanted you to run for governor?”
Maharg: “It’s just what I believe.”
ConservativeNM: “What if you’re wrong? —like you get to the Pearly Gates and God’s sitting there shaking his head like Kanye?”
https://tenor.com/embed.jsMaharg: “First of all, St. Peter is at the Pearly Gates. But I guess if I’m asked, I’ll apologize for misinterpreting God’s plan for me.”
ConservativeNM: “On the bright side, He’ll probably forgive you.”
Maharg: “It’s a noble cause, win or lose. Our state needs more than political leadership. It needs spiritual direction, and I’m not seeing that in our current field of candidates.”
ConservativeNM: “What about America generally?”
Maharg: “Absolutely. We have fallen from grace as a nation as well.”
ConservativeNM: “How about…the N.B.A.?”
Maharg: “Um, well…yes, I suppose they could use a little more Jesus, too.”
ConservativeNM: “But you’re not running for commissioner.”
Maharg: “I see your point.”
ConservativeNM: “During the KOAT debate, you asked frontrunner Mark Ronchetti why he’s not supporting you, since you have more political experience than him.”
Maharg: “I did. It was important to point out that he’s coming to the table without ever having managed so much as a small town, as I have as the former mayor of Cuba, New Mexico.”
ConservativeNM: “How big is Cuba.”
Maharg: “We are proud to boast a nearly 4% population growth since the 2010 census.”
ConservativeNM: “How many?!”
Maharg: “About 750 people, but that doesn’t count the Martinez family, which just welcomed twins, and I personally know two other couples who are expecting.”
ConservativeNM: “Mark Ronchetti threw away his candidate-to-candidate question on you, asking what you think the state needs to do to revitalize small towns in New Mexico.”
Maharg: “It was a good question, because Albuquerque, with all of its problems, usually gets all of the attention, followed by Santa Fe, which is where all of the state’s problems begin.”
ConservativeNM: “Why do you think he asked you that question?”
Maharg: “Honestly, probably because he didn’t want to give any air time to his biggest competitors, Rebecca Dow and Jay Block, and he knew it would make them look insignificant to ignore them and ask me a question instead.”
ConservativeNM: “Do you think that shows some level of political intelligence?”
Maharg: “To a great degree, yes.”
ConservativeNM: “But you questioned his political experience.”
Maharg: “If you’re looking for a pat on the back, yes I see your point. Again.”
ConservativeNM: “He did smack your question out of the park — you asking in Spanish, thinking he couldn’t understand because he’s a big White monolingual meat head…”
Maharg: “He proved to be full of surprises.”
ConservativeNM: “Greg Zanetti also threw away his candidate-to-candidate question on you…”
Maharg: “I wish you would quit saying it like that.”
ConservativeNM: “Objection overruled. Why do you think Zanetti did that? His polling is anemic, nobody talks about him, and could have slung a zinger Ronchetti’s way to get some attention in the race, but he decided instead to ask you what you thought of the ‘negativity’ in the race.”
Maharg: “Honestly, I think Greg has a crush on me.”
ConservativeNM: “He just wants to date you?”
Maharg: “No…I mean, we’re both happily married, and too damned old for dating. He just gets nervous around me, always has, so he bumbles about and asks dumb questions like a teenaged boy scout fiddling with his Rubik’s cube at a school dance.”
ConservativeNM: “That’s kind of cute.”
Maharg: “It’s sinful.”
ConservativeNM: “Which brings us back to the general theme of your campaign? Society is rotten, the hearts of man are weak, and a tax giveaway for college or a daycare voucher from the state isn’t going to fix that. Why don’t you think that message is resonating?”
Maharg: “Because there is no restraint, at home or in government. Because there is pleasure in unrighteousness. And because God has sent us strong delusion, and we have chosen to drink from its poisoned chalice.”
ConservativeNM: “Sounds like something out of the Book of Revelation.”
Maharg: “It is.”
ConservativeNM: “It’s not the most uplifting message.”
Maharg: “It’s sad that it needs saying.”
ConservativeNM: “Thank you for saying it.”
Visit Ethel4gov.com for more information on Maharg’s campaign.
Categories: satire
The Conservative New Mexican 
Fine interview. Her forthright statements display her objectives. I shall enjoy my throwaway vote. We can admire her pluck.
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It’s not a throwaway in the primary. Vote your conscience. Then vote out MLG in November.
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