White-pride parties, 2x ticket prices for Blacks, “White Shaft” remake proposed
U.S. Senator Calls New Mexico Children Dull, Undeserving
Dull, empty-eyed senator too dumb to fix poverty, proposes more internet.
Omega Man Submits To Octuple-Vax Series Citing Boredom, Annoyance With AI ‘Roadhouse’ Remake
2025: Don Frye completes 8-shot inoculation series that helped eradicate humanity two years prior.
How to Calculate the Number of Migrants Your Family Should Take In
If the $7.3b Vatican can house 12 migrants, U.S. families should take in 0.0001 migrants each
Arroyo Drug Dump Solves City Homelessness
‘Operation Adios No Casas’ seeks to clean up the streets by “using the natural elements” to literally wash away the scourge of junkies
City Deploys ‘Poop Scoop Troops’ To Clean Human Feces Downtown
Albuquerque isn’t throwing the book at public defecators. They’re throwing the TP roll at them.
Cornflower Blue Keller & His Unhoused Dem Base: The Conservative New Mexican Investigates
“Much like our homicide rate, I don’t like to look at it as completely terrible,” Keller said. “I prefer to call it victorally challenge.”
Manny’s Deepest Thoughts: The Conservative New Mexican Investigates
Manny is a Mentus man, loves Amarillo By Morning, and other personal details revealed!
Eddy’s Shower: The Conservative New Mexican Investigates
“I do my own talking and caulking,” radio talk show and in-studio showered Eddy Aragon said.